To the Singles from the Single

This post as titled above is to the singles from the single (me). While it's directed more at girls, I think guys can get something out of it too. The goal of this post is to encourage those of you who are single to use the singleness God gave you wisely and to focus on Him.

       As a single Christian the big goal in your life shouldn't be just to one day get married and "live happily ever after." Your major goal and focus as a child of God should be to love, glorify and serve the Lord with your whole being. Singlehood is the prime time for developing a good and strong relationship with the Lord. You have the time. I know you may be thinking that you don't have the time, but if spending time with God is important to you then you will make time for Him no matter how busy you may be. If you can make time for other things that may not even really matter (you may be thinking of some things right now), then you can set aside some time to spend with your heavenly Father. Now I know we all have everyday things that we do but when it comes down to it, we're not so busy that we can't. At least, we shouldn't ever be that busy.

      I may not know a whole lot about being married; I only know what it says in the bible about it, what married people tell me and what I observe. But I do know a lot about being single because I am. I know it can be hard, VERY hard to be content. Especially when it seems everyone around you is in a relationship, engaged or married. You feel left out. But that doesn't give you the excuse to mope around wishing it would hurry up and be "your turn." I've been there and done that many times. But I've come to realize that wishing for something I don't have right now isn't being grateful for what I do have right now: singleness. It's a gift. A precious gift that we really only have once. Just because most everyone is in a relationship doesn't mean you have to be. You don't have to do what everyone else is doing. God placed you where you are; you can do what He put you there for or you can do what you want to do. Wait on Him. Seek Him. Lamentations 3:25, "The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him."  

       An ideal marriage is when a man and a woman who have been faithfully serving the Lord while being single become a team with their main goal being to serve Christ together. Psalm 34:3 says, "O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together." In that ideal marriage both parties seek to please God FIRST and the other party second. I know some married couples who are shining examples of that. But I also know some who aren't. If the Lord has me marry I want to be one who is. But I'm not going to just sit around hoping and dreaming when I can do something NOW that will benefit me in the present and in the future.

       A married person has to take care of their spouse and children if they have some and all the other responsibilities that come along. A single person really only has to take care of them and therefore has a lot more time to spend time with God and for God than if they were married. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 it says, "32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 but he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction."

       Whether you have never been with someone or have been in a previous relationship this time of singlehood you have now is something that should be cherished and used wisely. Don't waste it! You don't know how long you will have this time. Maybe it will be short, maybe it will be long. Or maybe you are meant to be single for a lifetime. The apostle Paul was and look how God used him! Why, we probably wouldn't have half the New Testament if he had sat around wasting his time whining about being "forever alone". But he was content single, Philippians 4:11, "...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Whatever the case may be, you are single at this time. Embrace it. You may not want to at first, but once you do you will be happier. It can be a blessing if you let it. You probably won't be single your whole life so learn to enjoy it while you can.

       "So what am I supposed do while I'm single??" Use this singlehood to glorify God. Go on a mission’s trip. Go to bible college. Get involved in some of your church's ministries. There are nursing homes, children, jails and others that need you! Don't just sit there twiddling your thumbs daydreaming your life away! DO SOMETHING FOR GOD!

       In heaven, I don't think there'll be anybody that says, "Boy, I wish I would've gotten married!" But there will be those who may say, "If only I had used the time I had on earth for God!" Single or not, you will regret not doing your best for the Lord. 

He is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.

-Jim Elliot

       So why not start at this moment and strive to do your best? Can you think of any good excuses? I mean some real legitimate reasons why you shouldn't or "can't" try to do your best for Christ? It doesn't matter if so and so always seems to do better and be better than you. If YOU are honestly doing YOUR best God will use YOU!

The first verse of an appropriate hymn says,

 Give of your best to the Master;

Give of the strength of your youth;
Throw your soul’s fresh, glowing ardor
Into the battle for truth.
Jesus has set the example,
Dauntless was He, young and brave;
Give Him your loyal devotion;
Give Him the best that you have.

-Howard B. Grose

       Instead of waiting for the "perfect one," work on becoming the one God intended YOU to be. NOW is the time to discipline yourself to read the bible every day. NOW is the time to be a serious prayer warrior. NOW is the time to be a good witness for Christ. NOW is the time to use your time of singleness for the glory of God! Now is the time to seek Him! Deuteronomy 4:29, "But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul."

You only get ONE LIFE on this earth and only that which you did for Christ will matter when it's over. What will you do with yours?

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
And when I am dying, how happy I’ll be,
If the lamp of my life has been burned out for Thee

-Charles Thomas Studd

Here is a list of a few good books that you may find helpful (click on the titles):

Preparing To Be a Help Meet by Debi Pearl

Created to Need a Help Meet: A Marriage Guide for Men by Michael Pearl

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris

His Chosen Bride: Applying Proverbs 31 as a Single Young Woman by Jennifer J. Lamp

(If you have any book recommendations please let me know!)